In a stunning act of defiance against global economic panic, energy healer and entrepreneur Barbara Robins announced today that her Timeless Vibrations® Quantum Energy Healing MP3s will remain “completely unaffected” by the latest round of tariffs.

While companies across the nation frantically warn customers to “buy now before prices skyrocket,” Robins calmly reassured her community that her products contain no parts, molecules, or subatomic particles imported from tariffed countries.

“Each MP3 is composed entirely of multidimensional frequencies,” Robins explained. “They originate from the quantum field, not from China, Mexico, or anywhere that requires customs paperwork.”

Economists were baffled. “It’s the first product we’ve seen that literally transcends trade agreements,” said one analyst, clutching his spreadsheet in quiet awe. “Apparently, these sound files exist simultaneously in all places and no places, which makes them surprisingly resistant to inflation.”

Meanwhile, consumers report feeling relieved that at least one product on the internet isn’t trying to exploit their fear of economic collapse. “I was getting 27 emails an hour telling me to buy socks before the tariffs hit,” said one customer. “Then Barbara shows up and says, ‘Relax. My healing frequencies are timeless.’ It felt like a public service announcement from another dimension.”

Asked if she had any message for other businesses, Robins smiled serenely and said, “Yes. Maybe try vibrating higher instead of charging higher.”