From my friend and teacher Martin Hahn of www.settingheartsfree.com
“In the end we will conserve only what we love; love only what we understand; and understand only what we have been taught.” Baba Dioum
The great chasm between the masculine and feminine heart that has been created over the past 4 decades, and the ensuing suffering because of it, needs to be healed in order for us to once again be in union and create the love and abundance we were meant to have for each other. Are you up for the challenge? Because it’s up to you and me!
Are you ready to inspire those you know into greater ways of being in all aspects of life – in business, family, romance, friends, neighbors? If you are, then read on.
Untangling the mystery of love
What is Love? And who teaches us about what it means to love another?
We generally get our ideas from our parents, other family members, teachers, ministers and society as a whole. We usually enter this arena with much confusion and are left to our own devices to find out the truth about love. Sometimes the hard way.
The suffering currently going on in the world today because of this simple lack of understanding between the heart of a woman and the heart of a man has reached almost catastrophic proportions. Just look at the divorce rates today.
Many of you have come through Predicament sharing your stories about your experience in love and it hurts. The tears are real. It’s time we started to bridge the gap that has been created between the masculine and the feminine in each of us.
Let’s have a closer look.
In the healing of our hearts let’s look at the following 3 components of love:
1) Romantic Infatuation
2) Sexual Polarity
Romantic Infatuation – the ‘falling’ in love.
It usually only happens once or twice in your whole lifetime if you’re lucky. It’s the feeling of finding something in another so deeply familiar it’s as if we’ve known them our whole life and you ’ve finally come home to your soul mate. They’re the one.
Have you ever felt something like this in your life? It’s very powerful.
Are you together with your spouse today because of that feeling?
The truth about romantic infatuation is that it is a trick of the Divine. It’s how we’re brought together to resolve our family issues. It creates a strong attraction, which, when it fades (and it will) we’re left to work through our unresolved family dynamics.
In other words, we’re attracted to someone with the reciprocal past issues to our own and that’s why they seem so familiar in the first place. In a sense it is a coming home. The stronger that feeling the more familiar the unresolved issue we are faced with in that relationship. Does that make sense? Would you like to know the root of this?
Imagine a child born very open, relaxed and loving. It’s like a brand new piece of paper, no wrinkles, smooth, clear. As the child begins to grow and live life, it accumulates certain kinks from its experiences. Through not getting enough love, being shut down for who the child is, being told how to behave all the time, what’s acceptable and what isn’t. Some kinks go quite a bit deeper through abusive situations the child may go through whether verbal, physical or sexual. Can you follow this so far?
Many of these impacts are of an energetic nature and leave imprints on that child’s way of thinking that will shape his or her world from a very young age. Going back to the piece of paper we can start to see the wrinkles begin to appear as the world imparts its stresses on it.
The child, a once very open being, ends up a contorted smaller version of the would be radiant self and begins to act in ways it deems acceptable to others versus showing it’s true nature. All this simply based on history and the accumulation of ‘stuff’ from living life.
We put shells around our hearts to protect ourselves from, sometimes real and sometimes perceived, threats for the rest of our lives. By the time some of us hit 30 we look more like a paper ball than the smooth, new sheet of paper we started as.
Do you think all this would affect your openness? Your willingness to be you in all your splendor as you were meant to live? Of course it does.
Then one day someone asks you who you are and in all honestly, you cannot answer.
There was a woman at a meeting I was at who was in tears because she had lived her whole life doing what other people wanted her to do and she could not answer this question. Didn’t know where to even start. She’s in her 50’s now. That’s heart breaking.
These shells of contracture must be cracked if you are to get a glimpse of the true self you were born to be. We all have them to some degree and for some of us the desire to want to know our truth becomes extremely important one day. How much do you want to know the truth of you? Are you ready to begin living life the way it was meant for you?
The divine tricks us into coming together so the real work in relationship can begin when the feeling of familiarity begins to fade.
If you ’re conscious, you can work through these things together. If you ’re not, you ’ll spend your time convincing the other that you ’re right and they need to get some counseling. Do you get it?
Sometimes you stay together because of the kids or the fear of being left alone or not having someone. You just tolerate what was meant to be one of the most beautiful unions on this planet.
Some people move on to another relationship just to realize in short order that the issues appear to be the same although the face is slightly different.
My teacher says: “You take yourself with you where ever you go.”
When the relationship changes and the issues are still the same, after 2 or 3 of them you have to realize that the common denominator is “YOU”. That was a tough one to swallow for me.
I’ll address the other two components to this story, in our next email. Take some time this week to look through your past and see how this idea of romantic infatuation has played out in your life. Does it sound familiar? Where have you been holding back? And why?
Do you want to know who you are beyond the shells of contracture around your heart? Come see!
Open Heart, No Fear!
President and Lead Facilitator